The Cost of Victory Parental Pressure and Sports Culture Shift

Why are athletes specializing in one sport at such a young age or walking away totally? Why are coaches quitting or being fired by schools for unrealistic expectations? Why are officials quitting in droves? All that next on the Athlete One Podcast.

Welcome to the Athlete One Podcast. Veteran high school baseball coach Ken Carpenter takes you into life's classroom as experienced through sports. Go behind the scenes with athletes and coaches as they share great stories, life lessons and ways to impact others.

This episode of the Athlete One Podcast is powered by the Netting Professionals Improving Programs One Facility at a Time. The Netting Professionals specialize in the design, fabrication and installation of custom netting for baseball and softball, including backstops, batting cages, bp turtles, screens, ball carts and more. They also design and install digital graphic wall padding, windscreen, turf, turf protectors, dugout benches and cubbies. Contact them today at 844-620-2707, or you can visit them online at wwwnettingproscom, or check out Netting Pros on Twitter, instagram, facebook and LinkedIn for all their latest products and projects. Hello and welcome to the Athlete One Podcast. I'm your host, ken Carpenter, and thanks for joining me today. Today I want to talk a little bit about the parent experience when it comes to high school sports. I guess specifically, I want to talk about the parents who are not supportive cheerleaders or sideline strategists. These are the ones who are yelling louder than the roar of the crowd, whose expectations crushed the joy of the game and whose negativity is turning high school sports into a toxic battleground. If you go to a sporting event and you look around, sometimes you'll be at a baseball game and you'll see a set of parents that are sitting way far away from the rest of the group. Usually, they want to be able to just go there and watch the game and enjoy watching their son or daughter play the sport. It's happening across the country and it's affecting not only the players, who are the most important part of the high school experience, but it's also affecting the officials, who are running away from officiating in droves, and it's becoming a situation where it's not good all the way around. Here's how the parents that are with these high expectations are choking the life out of the game. Every time there's a missed shot, a bad pitch, a strikeout, a fumble, it becomes a personal affront. They scream at the referees, they berate the coaches, they turn their son or daughter's mistakes into public executions. They forget that kids make mistakes and that learning is messy and that the point of the whole thing is it's supposed to be fun. We're now caught up in the college scholarship mirage. They see every game as a tryout for a full scholarship. Every loss is a personal failure. They push their kids to specialize at a young age and then eventually, by the time they're a senior, they're burnout and they're sacrificing the well-rounded development for a dream that, statistically, is likely to remain just that a dream Consplained coaches for everything, turning constructive criticism into personal attacks. Some demand preferential treatment for their son or daughter, forgetting that the team is an ecosystem, not a personal showcase. Their constant pressure and entitlement is what's driving away good coaches, leaving a void filled with those who can stomach the abuse just to keep the kids playing. Then you also have the parent posse. When a season doesn't go well or the team is struggling, they want to find a new coach and instead of sitting down and talking with the coach, they go out and they go to the athletic director, the principal, the superintendent, and they find the right button to push to get a great coach pushed away and out of the game. It's happening across the country. Just look around and you'll see great coaches who are no longer on the sidelines or in the dugout. It's something that needs to be addressed and it probably needs to be addressed at the school level. The coaches need to be backed by their administrators. The stolen joy the worst part they're stealing the joy from the young athletes. The passion that drew them to the game gets choked by expectations, replaced by fear and pressure. The camaraderie on the field gets drowned out by parental screaming matches. What should be a haven for growth and connection becomes a stressful minefield. Then you have the parents who want to blame everything on the officials of the game. They're not perfect, they're not going to get every call right. But to go crazy in the stands and expect so much out of someone who has put in a full day of work and they come out and do an extra couple hours to officiate a game so you can have a game, it's just unrealistic for some of these officials. How can we reclaim the magic of high school sports and the athletes that deserve to have a great experience? We have to start with remembering the why. We coaches, parents, athletes need to remember why we're all there. It's not about scholarship or championship trophies. It's about the love of the game, the thrill of the competition. The probably more important than anything is the lessons learned through teamwork. Let's focus on fostering the joy that comes with playing the game, the intrinsic motivation, and make it a great experience for the player. We need to respect the ecosystem. Coaches deserve respect. Their decisions need to be respected. They're not babysitters or personal trainers. They're mentors, guiding teams, not individual stars. Encourage open communication, not sidelines and tax. Remember a healthy team benefits everyone, not just your son or daughter. Let the kids be the kids. Let them explore, experiment and make mistakes. That's how they're going to learn. That's how they're going to grow. Celebrate the effort, the hustle, the spirit of the game, and not just the scoreboard or their personal stats. Let them find their own path, not one paved by parental pressure. Think about it when you're riding home with your son or daughter. Really think about how your son or daughter might feel if they Did not have a good day at the plate or they threw interceptions or they didn't get to play. Think about their, how they're feeling and how you can work on trying to build them up and Understand that they're being a part of something greater than just themselves. They're part of a team. Be their cheerleaders, not their critics. Cheer for the whole team. Many times you'll see a parent say my son could have done that. Just go out there and cheer for the whole team, for their effort. Let your child hear your support, not your anger. Be their biggest fan. Be the team's biggest fan. They're safe space, the one constant source of encouragement. When Sometimes the beat the bleachers, can be a place where it's just full of people With unrealistic expectations. High school sports can be a stage for learning life lessons through teamwork and competition, but negativity from the sidelines can turn it into a pressure cooker, stilling the joy and pushing away the very people who should be nurturing it. Let's be the change, the ones who remember why you're, why you're there to celebrate the passion, the dedication and the spirit of the game. Let's make high school, high school sports, great again for athletes who deserve it, and remind ourselves that sometimes the greatest victories happen off the field and what they learn from being around their Friends and being around coaches who are given everything they have to the game. Let's keep this conversation going. Share your stories, your tips, your victories over negativity. Together, we can reclaim the magic of high school sports. I Hope this helps and remember, athlete one is always looking for stories of athletes and coaches who are making high school sports a positive experience. So share your journey, inspire others and let's Turn the negative into a positive. We're quickly approaching the start of a new year and I would like to take this time to thank each and every Listener and fan of the athlete one podcast, in a special thanks to all of the great guests I've had throughout the year. As we're coming to the holiday season, I would like to wish each and every one of you a happy holiday and thank you for taking the time to be a part of the athlete one podcast. If you'd like to be a guest of the athlete one podcast, go to wwwathleteonenet Dot. Athlete one net and fill out the form to be a guest. And Don't forget to follow us on Twitter and Instagram at athlete one podcast. The athlete one podcast was powered by the netting professionals, improving programs one facility at a time. The netting professionals continue to provide quality products and services to many recreational, high school, college and professional fields and facilities throughout the country. Contact them today at 844 6202707. That's 844 6202707. I'm your host, ken Carpenter, and, as always,